All You Do Is Observe Yourself

I used to be a horrifying snooper. I don’t do it anymore, actually. Something changed, also I’ve gotten hurt by it, so now I prefer to not know things, like a ‘normal’ person.

This morning a friend sent me a link to a review of WOMEN, called Millennials Talk Millennial Nonsense in a review in text messages between two girl friends. That’s what’s cool about publishing books/writing, it’s socially acceptable to see what people are saying about you.

For my next book, I might turn into one of those authors who don’t read their reviews. I’m serious. I’m excited about it.

But for now….these texts simultaneous makes me sick to my stomach and happy. Feels meta, feels like reading my own texts between my friend Karina and myself, except about my own book. Also, ha, femme lit?! Never heard anyone call WOMEN that till now. I these WOMEN have some interesting points. It’s fun to see what people say behind your back, uncrafted for a book review.I know I know, what other ppl think about you is none of your business, but w/e.

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Last night I was watching Six Feet Under. My new winter activity is re-watching the series since I haven’t seen it in 10 years, and since Jill Soloway wrote my fave characters: Brenda Chenoweth and Claire Fisher.

Remember when Brenda decides she wants to write a novel and starts sleeping around for materials?

There’s this great scene when she sits on her bed with her laptop and stares at the blank screen. She hallucinates the words:

Go ahead, write.

What do have to say that hasn’t been said before?

All you do is observe your self. 

Off to shovel my car out and go to therapy.




2 thoughts on “All You Do Is Observe Yourself

  1. thank you for your work Chloe, I just bought Women at a bookstore in Brooklyn, and then went home and read it, crying, in one sitting. You bring to life the intricate intimacies of female relationships and an uncanny resemblance to my most recent relationship. You helped me heal tonight.

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